"Love is all it is, it makes the world go 'round" - Bob Dylan

My friend called me yesterday to check up on me and see how I was doing. Instead of being obnoxious and blunt I relented and tried to be civil. How is a person "fine" after having the door slammed in the face? I don't understand how people can turn on and off like a light switch....

Nevertheless, it was kinda nice to here from her, even if it did hurt. Damn, I miss her!

Pushing as hard as I can again, trying to get things done and move forward. This is taking forever 'cause I'm doing it all on my own. Very frustrating....

I'm gonna get my haircut today, all part of my feeble attempt to start changing my appearance to a more positive one. I suspect one's image has more than a little influence in this world. Haircut today, new glasses in a week, and then maybe some new clothes. Look out world, here I come....

"I hate the nightlife..."

The long, dark nights suck. They drag my mood down into the ground. Makes me think about all of the mistakes I've made. There is a better life out there, right?

I went and had a sacral cranial session this afternoon 'cause I was feeling so down. That was great. I was able to go into the "special and safe" places in my mind and relax for a bit. Highly recommended.

I'm going to start repeating a mantra over and over again asking the universe for all of the things I want so badly. Sure as heck can't hurt.

In the mean time, I'm painting trim inside the house furiously, trying to get all of the work finished. Trim is such finicky stuff. I've been working on this house for almost a year now with absolutely no help and I'm beat. This isn't helping my mental state any. This has taken way to much work.

Paragraph removed due to security concerns.