Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Onwards and... sideways?

Well... It's been over three years since my last post and a lot has happened. Finally split up and found a place of my own about two years ago. I've got a cosy little townhouse out in the boondocks which Dog and I share. It's an okay arrangement which allows me to survive financially.

I started to see someone about five weeks ago which has had the purpose of demonstrating that I'm not out of the woods yet in a psychological manner. My old nemesis anxiety has sprung up and helped to sabotage a brand new relationship. It's amazing how one small fear can snowball into something huge and bring one's self to their knees. My anxiety and confusion has helped to completely wreak my brand new relationship, leaving me to ponder my own value. I'm definitely not as strong as I thought I was, and it didn't take much for me to dissolve into a puddle of sadness.

That sucks, and I've decided that I have to do something about it. I've talked to a psychologist and will start cognitive behavior therapy  (CBT) in two days. I must do this, as I can't continue on this roller coaster ride of highs and horrible lows. I'm looking forward to starting as soon as possible in order to try and fix myself.


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