Wandering, wondering

It's been a long time since I've posted, and it's time to get back online. I fell into a rut of fear and self-loathing for the longest time and I'm presently trying to climb out. The fear of the unknown attacked me and won't let me go... sigh. It's a terrible thing to stick one's head in the sand because: a) it leaves a particular part of one's anatomy terribly exposed, and, b) the knowledge that one will have to face the facts eventually will drive you mad. So here I am, trying to climb out of the same rut I've found myself in so many times before. I feel like the Lion in "Wizard of Oz", looking everywhere for courage, not realizing that it's all in one's heart, ready to be used.

Not only have I had a terrible time fighting fear, I've also had an incredible urge to be creative. I've finally finished the "Mood Lamp" project I mentioned in earlier posts and that was fun, building it in between house renos', kids homework, etc. Now I'd like to move onto my next project, "Jar of Fireflies". I'm really into visual "art" lately, particularly something with soothing colors. I really wish I knew how to paint or photograph...

I've been continuing my research of an ideal vehicle for camping and adventuring. Lately I've looking at bus conversions as the way to go for a comfortable recreational vehicle. Older buses (~15 years and older) sell for less than a good Volkswagen Vanagan Westfalia and they are certainly more suited to long distance highway travel. Negatives include fuel mileage (7 - 10 miles to the gallon), price of tires and other maintenance items, and the shear size of the thing. Still, I'd love to pilot a big bus down to Mexico...

I still haven't moved out of my house, as I didn't see any point at hurrying when there was nothing to strive for. Now that I'm climbing back out of my rut I'm going to ensure I try and follow my "Mind Map" which I so eagerly started. Time to start living again!