Tuesday, December 05, 2006

"I guess you know that I, uh, I love you so
Even though you don't want me no more
Hey hey hey hey, I'm cryin' tears..."
- Al Green, Tired of Being Alone

Paragraphs removed due to security concerns.

I had another visit to the retinal surgeon yesterday. My eye is stable, so we're going to wait with the injections or surgery. That's good news, I suppose...

Christmas is starting to look decidedly unpleasant. I can't wait to get that over with so I can push ahead as hard and fast as possible. I can't bear living like this anymore.

This self pity and sorrow sucks...


At 4:27 PM, Blogger Dawn of "Love is there..." said...

'ello! :)

There's one thing you're doing that I've done, myself, that I found to be really uncomfortable in the end... You're not giving yourself room to grieve...

You don't want to stay there...move in and set up home in Grief... But, this was important to you. This person represented something more than just a person - she represented a new life and the ability to love again, among all kinds of other things.

Don't rush through the grief... I found when I did that, I turned into a pressure cooker...it wasn't pretty.

Something major happened to you. You lost something important... Just remember that you didn't lose your dream. She took you so far...it's time for you to look back and reflect on just how far she brought you... and honor her for who she was and what you had...

Give yourself some time, even if it's just 30 minutes. Make them specific minutes, pointedly focused minutes of rolling around in it and really feeling it. Give yourself that gift.

There's no rush - life'll be here when you get back, and nothing will fall apart in your absence (allowing yourself even 30 minutes can feel like a really big deal ;) ) You'll want to savor this experience and in so doing, allow it to heal.

Take it from someone who's been there... :}

- Dawn

At 6:46 PM, Blogger Greg said...

Hi Dawn,
As always, you are right on the money! I lost something so very important to me, and it's darn hard to stop grieving. In fact, I honestly don't know how to... Such a bright light shone into my life for a brief period and I can't stand the darkness which has taken over.

I know there's lots more to come in life yet, but at this point it's hard to accept that. Gee whiz... why am I so weak with emotion?

This "setback" will in no way slow me down from moving forwards and upwards. I still want to be creative, I still want to love... I just thought I had found the person to share that all with. I been tramping through a desert of loneliness and I came upon an oasis which I thought I could stay at...

Thanks for all of your comments, you are absolutely correct with your thoughts. Thanks for "looking out" for me!



Post a Comment

<< Home