"Whole lot of mourning going on..." - Part 2

Evening now; nights are the worst. Sentences removed for the moment due to security concerns. How is it that someone can turn one into a weeping child? It isn't fair.

Paragraph removed for the moment due to security concerns.

Of course, now I'm petrified that I'll never find anyone to love and to love me. Every damn relationship I've had has ended in some sort of disaster. I know I must think more positively about relationships, but it's damn hard to. God, I hope my kids are luckier than I have been....

Okay... now the trick is to send out some positive messages to the universe. I don't want to be lonely anymore, I want to be loved and happy again. I'm ready to plead allegiance to God and anything else if my prayers are answered. Hmmm.... pretty pathetic actually. But.... there must be a way to connect to one's soul mate, if there is such a thing. I suppose that is one of my mission statements now - I will find my soul mate, if it means searching the entire universe.....